I Blush

Posted by Ruth Cassell on March 10, 2015 · 2 Comments 

Even to say it sounds like a dirty word. Blush. I don’t just blush when someone gives me a compliment and I’m trying to be coy. Or when I feel uncomfortable in a conversation and don’t know how to gently excuse myself. Or when I know I’m saying or doing something contradictory to my best … Continue reading →

Category Co-dependency, People-pleasing, Setting Limits · Tagged with , , ,

The Unexpected Self Evaluation

Posted by Ruth Cassell on October 27, 2014 · Leave a Comment 

With a blank page open on the bright screen, the cursor blinks and blinks and blinks. I move the mouse to open my email, and decide to get some real work done. Amid thoughts of weekend to-dos—don’t forget to switch the laundry before it mildews—and preparations for my husband’s return home from a three-month stent … Continue reading →

Category Co-dependency, Defining Boundaries, Healthy Living, Professional, Setting Goals · Tagged with , , , , ,

You Don’t Drink?

Posted by Ruth Cassell on April 18, 2014 · Leave a Comment 

The Answer I Never Give to the Question I Always Get   I’ve never had a DUI or been arrested. I did wake up with my car nose deep in a snow bank and not remember how I got there. I’ve never lost all my money, family or friends to booze. I did lie to … Continue reading →

Category Addiction, Alcoholism, Co-dependency, Defining Boundaries, Healthy Living, Intentions, Saying No, Setting Goals, Setting Limits, Women's Issues · Tagged with , , , , , , , ,

Everything In Its Place

Posted by Ruth Cassell on January 27, 2014 · Leave a Comment 

Peppercorns rattle as I push past a fresh packet of red chili peppers. We always kept those on hand to finish the dhal. Red Chili peppers, garlic cloves, and white cumin seeds dropped in scorching hot olive oil and drenched over a simmering pot of chick peas. Our kitchen wafted with sautéed onions and oil … Continue reading →

Category Co-dependency, Emotional Abuse, Family, Healthy Living, Intentions, Setting Limits, Women's Issues · Tagged with , , , , , , ,

I Know How This Goes

Posted by Ruth Cassell on January 22, 2014 · Leave a Comment 

Trigger warning: I first shared this piece in a Master’s level writing course and it was hard on one of the women in my class, so I want to preface it with this warning. I Know How This Goes is a counter piece to You Know How This Goes. I wrote and share these pieces with … Continue reading →

Category Addiction, Advocacy, Co-dependency, Emotional Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Women's Issues · Tagged with , , , , , ,

Divorce and Death: What Was, What Could Have Been

Posted by Ruth Cassell on August 23, 2012 · 2 Comments 

I imagined sitting in a lawyer’s office giving depositions to finalize my divorce would be nothing less than tortuous. Have you been separated for more than a year? Yes. Is there any chance for reconciliation? No. How could such questions—monotonous and unnervingly devoid of emotion—not cause me to collapse in sorrow? Two reasons. These final … Continue reading →

Category Addiction, Alcoholism, Co-dependency, Defining Boundaries, Healthy Living, Positive Thinking, Setting Limits, Spirituality · Tagged with , , , , , , , , , ,