Writing for Me (Eventually)

I’ve gotten into a bad habit of only writing when I plan to post what I write–either on this blog or in the one publication that still lets me submit (Front Porch Fredericksburg).

I am looking for a guide light to lead me toward a writing discipline, a daily habit to reflect my thoughts and nourish my life. I want to follow the light for my personal development and continual growth. I realize I must do this greatly offline, because online I get dangerously distracted by social media and the “marketing” of my blog. I know the motivation must be found within.

I need to write for me.

Not for the few comments or follows I may get on the blog.

Not for the response of my professor (who is graciously working with me to complete a master’s degree final project based on my blogging “experience”).

Not so I can link posts to my Facebook page.

For me. For my children. For my purpose of writing my experience.

I recently posted “How I Got Here” in an effort to encourage myself to find and follow an internal drive that has long lit my path:

I want to write about mindfulness and parenting and taking care of myself before I take care of others. I want to share stories and be invasive into my own thought processes. I want to evoke emotion and perhaps conversation.

I read posts encouraging writers to write.

Seems simple enough.

I still struggle. Writing has long been a source of expression and reflection for me. Now it seems to be another thing I lay in bed thinking I should do (along with sun salutations, catching up on work, and staying in bed to get some needed rest–I am 7 1/2 months pregnant, you know!) Guess which one wins more often than not!

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The next step for me is to join “My 500 Words,”

which I have long followed but never joined.

It may seem counter intuitive to attempt to solve my lack of personal writing habit by joining an online group, when I just said the online world distracts me from writing. But, I learn a lot from fellow writers and bloggers and I’m hopeful the external motivation will push me toward developing a practice I can carry with me through the adaptations required for daily life and fluctuations in my approach to personal development.

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