How I Got Here

Writing has long been a source of identity for me.

I published a zine and audio zine when I was 16. A reckless collection of poetry and journal musings about a boy (like many others) I should’ve never been into and my struggle against parental interference. Or, puppy love BS packaged in a grungy, edgy sort of way. Don’t know what a ‘zine is? I wrote about it once but never posted it, so here it is: “Inspirational Creativity.”

I began writing at a time when I journaled and scrapbooked nearly every minute of my life. I often wish I could return to this practice now. This is a page from a high school scrapbook--an example of where I gleaned inspiration for early writing.

I began writing at a time when I journaled and scrapbooked nearly every minute of my life. I often wish I could return to this practice now. This is a page from a high school scrapbook–an example of where I gleaned inspiration for early writing.

As a young pup, I revitalized the high school literary magazine The Skald and published lots of angsty and emo poetry and short stories from my friends and fellow self-identified writers.

At the tail end of high school, into college and my first “real job”, I followed the path of journalism. I reported and edited for the college newspaper The Bullet. In my junior year, I published a long personal essay “Fighting, Falling, Finding” about my experience of date rape in high school and how it led me down a destructive path.

Sharing that story may have seemed brave, but to me it was intuitive. It was how I healed and how I How I Got Here 2came to terms with my personal responsibility to not starve myself until I passed out in a freshman dorm and broke my jaw. It was how I thought I might save the next girl.

A full-time reporting and then editing job with a small town weekly paper The Caroline Progress didn’t provide nearly the same opportunities to be self expressive. I wrote a lengthy feature about my first trip to Karachi, Pakistan with my first husband. At the time, the newspaper was my only outlet, so I made an editorial decision to include the story in full color on the back page. Not sure it was my publisher’s favorite choice, but working 70 hours a week for $22,000 afforded me at least creative control, I figured.

When I found myself at a life crossroads, with a crumbling marriage, a three-year-old depending on me to keep it together, no “real” job, and the need to identify how I had gotten myself into the situation and how I was going to get myself out, I launched this blog.

I remember the date. May 2, 2012. I put the site up live. The first post “Saying No Hurts So Good” was a way for me to express what I believed the focus of my blog to be–setting limits, saying no, and being ok with me–without diving too personal and while maintaining a sense of humor.

Through coursework and the blog, I’ve worked on my writing style but still struggle with my writing habit.

My newest endeavor is to re-identify what this blog is about and make sure I’m going in the right direction. I want to write about mindfulness and parenting and taking care of myself before I take care of others. I want to share stories and be invasive into my own thought processes. I want to evoke emotion and perhaps conversation.

I know all of these things will take time.

But, that’s how I got here and where I’m going and that’s ok with me.

I’m researching like-minded blogs, published by writers who are also working moms or dads and who share their stories with literary emphasis. This is part of my effort to take my blog to the next level. Read “What Speaks to Me” to see what I’ve found so far.

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  1. […] recently posted “How I Got Here” in an effort to encourage myself to find and follow an internal drive that has long lit my […]

  2. […] recently posted “How I Got Here” in an effort to encourage myself to find and follow an internal drive that has long lit my […]



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